Love By Silver
by magikal-wolf98
Summary: Finding your someone just for you... everyone lies about themselves, the whole world is doomed. All that exists is two lovers and their love. They just don't know each other.
1. Nightly Manuevers

**Love By Silver: The "True" Story of Hermione Granger**

Introduction

Hermione Granger. Always living up to other's expectations. Behaving, getting good grades. Always. But what would the world do if it knew the real Hermione?

Chapter 1: Nightly Maneuvers

"Oh, bad Hermy-own. You did it again." Hermione Granger muttered to herself, out of her mind on Vicodin she had smuggled from her parent's medicine cabinet in the Muggle world. She was sitting cross-legged in the Girl's bathroom, very late at night, carrying out her high in dangerous deeds. Hermione had out her razorblade, doing the "bad thing" again. She had the left sleeve of her uniform pulled up on her arm, exposing her scars and a few recent cuts to the rest of the world. The flash of silver back and forth became hypnotizing. Revealing a crimson river to flow down the pale, scarred flesh of her forearm. Ah, the relief. Such a wonderful escape from her everyday life that was ruled by other's thoughts and expectations of her. Hermione soon tired of that a long time ago in the beginning. She wanted to live her _own_ life. _Her_ way. She had been a cutter for a few years now, hiding scars/cuts and weapons she used to make them well. No one knew. And if she could help it, no one would ever find out.

"Stop now, Polly. That's enough for one day." Hermione struggled to stand, her body weak from blood loss and a mild overdose of Vicodin. Not enough to hurt her. Just get her really high. She led herself to the nearest sink, and washed the blood from her arm. She took out some bandaging from her pocket and began dressing her cuts. "Whoops," She muttered ineptly to herself, after realizing she had been bandaging the wrong place. Once she found where the gauze was needed, bandaged her arm up, and placed her razorblade securely back into the pocket in her bag, Hermione headed to bed. She was very clumsy and couldn't see because it was so dark, and got lost several times. When she finally found her way to the Fat Lady, two hours had already passed since she first got to the Girl's bathroom.

"Password?" the Fat Lady asked sleepily.

"Potpourri." Hermione said shakily, and made her way through the portrait's opening.

"You really shouldn't be out this late you know, dear!" the Fat Lady called after her before the portrait door closed.

Hermione managed to find her way to her dormitory, and quietly tried to find her way to her bed withought waking anyone up. She did, and withought even bothering to remove her clothes, fell face-first onto her bed into an uneasy rest.

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/Please R&R, I hope you like it! Yes, I know Hermione would most likely not be like this, but it's my story to do what I like with it. More to come later! Sorry for a short chapter.

© 2005 to Kirsten Ariel Meyer, All Rights Reserved.


	2. An Unlikely, Unknown Admirer

Chapter 2: An Unlikely, Unknown Admirer

A/N: Yes, I know that this story is about Hermione. But uhh... is it OK if sometimes I put a paragraph or a little insert in Draco's POV? Of course, it's my story. But maybe I should change the title. Yeah. OK. From now until forever, this story will be called "Love By Silver". Now on with the story.

* * *

_Little did Hermione know, an unlikely suitor had watched all of last night's escapade from underneath an Invisibility Cloak. Why had Draco Malfoy been stalking Hermione Granger from a distance? He was _worried _about her. That's all. Because, if there was something wrong with Granger, she might have to stay in the Hospital Wing or some other kind of hospital or place for a while. And then she wouldn't be there to tourment. That's it. Now shut the fuck up and leave me the hell alone._

Draco Malfoy awoke in his dormitory bed to find patches of sunlight streaming from his window. Shit. He had slept too late. Well who wouldn't? He had been up for a long time the previous night (morning, actually. Very early morning.). And he still couldn't believe what he saw. He sat up in bed, and drew the covers around his cold, naked torso. He ran the pale, strong fingers of his right hand through his platinum-blonde hair and frowned to himself. Impossible, wasn't it? Hermione Granger, in a Girl's bathroom at that time of night. On the floor. Calling herself strange names. High off of Vicodin. Cutting herself with a razor. It had to have been some other girl. No. It wasn't just another girl. _She _wasn't just another girl. She was beautiful, and very intelligent. Draco loved her. He had always loved her. Secretly. He covered it up by being horribly mean to her. Now, after all of these years, he felt he should do something about his love. _What if Hermione-- I mean, Granger... started to date another guy? Perhaps, Potter or the Weasel? ThenI would be too late. _Well, if not acting upon his love, at least find out why on earth she would do that. Maybe it was just one of those odd, one-time-only things. _I can keep a closer watch on her for a little while longer. If she doesn't cut herself anymore, I can just forget about the whole thing. If she does, _then _I will have to act. _

He had always thought of Hermione as almost... perfect. She was beautiful, smart, and had two great friends. Great parents. Or so he had heard. That was one of the reasons for his love. She knew how to live on the bright side of life. At least, that was what he thought. Perhaps there was another side to her that none of them knew.

* * *

Heh. It seems that most of my chapters might/will be about this length. I'm sorry about the long wait. I didn't quite know yet where I wanted to take the story. More on Hermione in the next chapter. I hope you liked it! (:

Watch for more updates in a few days (I hope).


	3. You Know You're Right

A/N: OMG. I am so sorry I haven't been updating. There's been so much stuff happening in my personal life, and I haven't found any time for writing. I've just been stuck in writer's block for like… ever.

If you couldn't tell yet, so far every other chapter has been in one's POV. First was Hermione, second Draco, and now it's Hermione again. Just in case you didn't get the format.

Oh. Random fact. "Polly" by Nirvana was inspiration for the first chapter and kind of the story. I heart Nirvana. I wish Kurt hadn't died. He could've made some kind of difference in the world. But anyway.

This chapter is sortof a songfic with You Know You're Right by Nirvana.

Here's more on our poor confused Hermione. 33333

Chapter 3: You Know You're Right

Hermione hadn't been doing well lately. She had been cutting even more because… of her thoughts of a certain someone. She had always had feelings for Draco. Ever since she first saw him on the first day of Hogwarts. It just killed her because he seemed to hate her. Would her love forever be unrequited? He seemed perfect for her. He seemed like the kind who could and would always pay attention to her. Always be there for her when she needed. And she could be there for him… and protect him from all the uncertainty of the world. She longed to be understood. He could understand her. Why she does what she does. All of this she has to keep secret… and it also hurts to keep everything bottled up inside.

_I will never bother you  
I will never promise to  
I will never follow you  
I will never bother you_

_Never speak a word again  
I will crawl away for good_

She'd never have the courage to do anything about her love. He hates her. So it seems. Perhaps there is more to him, like there is to her? After all, no one tells the truth about themselves. There's always another side no one will ever know, until they find the one person who can make them complete. The one person who can show them who they are. Who can give them what they want in life. All Hermione wants is freedom. Truth. Beauty. To be understood, and understand. She wanted someone who would take care of her, but at the same time was independent… but still liked to be taken care of as well. Draco seems like he's just endured so much pain in his life… Hermione just wanted to be able to take it all away.

_I will move away from here  
You wont be afraid of fear  
No thought was put in to this  
I always knew it would come to this _

Things have never been so swell  
I have never failed to feel  
Pain

Because of all this uncertainty inside of her, she couldn't feel pain. She feels like she's dead inside. She had been so emotional before… but now, she's just numb. She needed to learn how to live again. She needed someone to confide in. She couldn't keep everything inside forever. Doing that had already killed her.

_I'm so warm and calm inside  
I no longer have to hide  
Let's talk about someone else  
Steaming soup against her mouth  
**Nothing really bothers her  
She just wants to love herself**_

Running everything in her mind over again, she just wanted to get away. She couldn't stand it anymore. All of this… what's the point? What is there to keep fighting for? What is worth living for? Everything she so strived for… she would never receive anyway. Just to get away…

_I will move away from here  
You wont be afraid of fear  
No thought was put into this  
I always knew to come like this _

Things have never been so swell  
I have never failed to feel  
Pain

_You know you're right…_

She found herself once more in the bathroom, all of this going through her head. She had always been a failure. She never did anything right.

She just wanted to die. She just wanted to escape. After all, freedom is after life, right? When you've escaped all its cruelties and uncertainty?

She knew how to do this. "Down the road, not across the street" as they say. You don't slash your wrist to open the vein and bleed to death. You open it from top to bottom.

She raised the razor and positioned it over the vein on her left arm. She closed her eyes, pressed down slightly, but nothing happened.

She never could do anything right. Everyone just wanted her to be perfect, and why? For what purpose is perfection?

She didn't deserve to be free. She instead deserved her own "personal hell" as she called it. She would live on, in darkness, and in doubt. Maybe even, just to damn herself even more, she'd make herself immortal. Find a Sorcerer's Stone. Something. She couldn't really think anymore. She had already thought too much.

She sighed, and lowered the razor to a bare spot on her left arm. She sank it in deeply, and pulled it slowly back and forth. Seconds later, blood surfaced. She repeated this process until that spot was filled with fairly deep cuts that were about an inch long each. Ah, relief. Hermione liked hurting herself. She just… liked it. It made her feel better. Like, one cut, and all your problems disappear. It's magical.

She felt okay enough for today. Hermione packed up her supplies, not even bothering to bandage these cuts up, and headed to bed, where at least she could be temporarily free.

But, unfortunate for her, she didn't see Draco watching this whole process from inside of the invisibility cloak he stole from Harry Potter, only a few feet from her, paused in shock, unable to do anything to save his beloved

* * *

. 

**EDIT:** No kiddies, cutting is not a good thing. It does not make your problems go away. SO DON'T DO IT! Oh, and I know Malfoy couldn't just steal Potter's Invisi-cloak. But it's my story, and here in my world, anything is possible. Eh, I won't mention it again. OO Because you're right, now –that- is cliché. 3


	4. Everybody's Fool

Ahaha! Making this a songfic thing in every or most chapters is a brilliant idea! I should go back and put Polly in the first chapter. Hmm… yes I should.

**Notes:** About my story.

**This story.**

This story is about listening, so that you can hear what something has to say.

This story is about finding the deeper meaning in things, instead of just looking at the surface.

This story is about having the courage to achieve the things you want in life.

This story is about getting to really know someone you love, so that you can be closer to them, so that maybe you can help them.

This story is about how each of us really and truly does have at least one… real… person who cares about us. (We just may not know who they are yet)

This story is about feeling dead inside, and needing someone to show you how to live again.

This story is about dealing with pain. (The kind on the inside)

This story is about hating yourself, and needing someone to "take you away from you".

This story is about…

Life.

This chapter is with Everybody's Fool by Evanescence. Because… well… you'll find out how it relates. No, like it should be used... Draco is not "singing" the song to someone else, because they are the "fool" who lied about themselves. It is being "sung" to Draco, because he is the "fool". Simply spoken, he is/was not who people thought he was. Not at all.

Okay, so yeah, don't rub it in that so far we're just learning/figuring out who Hermione and Draco really are. Nothing has really happened yet, and we haven't gotten anywhere except closer to them. Never fear, m'loves. There is stuff to happen yet.

**More Notes:** Lyrics in bold, Draco's thoughts in italics.

Chapter 4: Everybody's Fool

_There is definitely something more to Hermione _Draco thought. _Just like there is to me._

**Perfect by nature  
Icons of self indulgence  
Just what we all need  
More lies about a world that…**

_Can they not see? All this time I've been lying. No one knows who I am. No one knows that unlike anyone knows, I understand pain. I have felt it all my life. I understand how tricky evil is. Because right when you think you have it cornered, it changes its form. I understand how love is in a sense… evil… because all it does is cause pain. There is no love withought trust, but you cannot trust anyone. Because no one is real. Every part of everyone has been touched or altered in some way. No one is truly unique, no one is all their own. No one is true, no one is innocent. No one is real. _

**Never was and never will be  
Have you no shame? Don't you see me?  
You know you've got everybody fooled**

_No one knows why I chose "evil". Because, in it, and in hatred, you can get somewhere in life. You don't just stay "stuck" in one place. And as I said, love just causes pain. Naturally, as humans, we attach ourselves to those we love. And an unimaginal pain is resorted when we lose them. No one knows my father abused me… physically/emotionally all of my life. No one knows just how much I hate the world. Because I know the truth about it. I know what it really is. I seem so mean on the outside, inside… I have hopes and dreams like everyone else. I'm optimistic. Sometimes. _

_And it's true that I can love. Because I love Grang… Hermione._

**Look here she comes now  
Bow down and stare in wonder  
Oh how we love you  
No flaws when you're pretending  
But now I know she…**

_People think I'm so perfect. That I'm the toppest of the top. It's sickening. I'm far from perfect. I haven't really made any big mistakes in life though, because I have never had anyone close enough to me for me to hurt. And then for me to care about that hurt. I've heard girls say they were in love with me, and why? For what? My appearance? How shallow. How… sickening. This whole fucking world is sickening. Oh… how I wish to escape. _

**Never was and never will be  
You don't know how you've betrayed me  
And somehow you've got everybody fooled**

_The only person who could ever know all of this is Hermione. Some day I'll tell her. Because I know she will understand. If anyone else did know… how much I have betrayed them… I'm not evil. I'm just… intelligent. I know what things really are. If my father knew… my opinions on him and Lord Voldemort… he would surely kill me. _

**Without the mask, where will you hide?  
Can't find yourself lost in your lie**

_I so rarely think about all of this, I had almost forgotten who I am. I almost started to believe I was perfect, that I was everything I said I was. Just goes to show, thinking is good for you. You can find out who you are, if you can sort through all the lies you've ever told about yourself. No one tells the truth about themselves._

**I know the truth now  
I know who you are  
And I don't love you anymore**

_What if, when he tried to make Hermione understand him, she didn't love him anymore? Then I have truly lost everything. There is nothing here for me anymore. I love her so deeply, that it is unconditional. I ask for nothing in return. I just want to be able to give her peace. Is that so much to ask? I hate seeing her in such pain. It kills me. _

**It never was and never will be  
You don't know how you've betrayed me  
And somehow you've got everybody fooled**

**It never was and never will be  
You're not real and you can't save me  
Somehow now you're everybody's fool**

_What if… I can't save her. What if… it turns out she does hate me. I've been wearing this mask of hating her for so long, she probably thinks that I do hate her. Then, she won't trust me with her. I can't save her. I've failed. Well not yet…_

_I haven't tried enough yet to fail._

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Yeah umm… maybe Everybody's Fool wasn't exactly perfect for this chapter, but oh well. I like it. Only problem is, in writing it, I've started to think like a guy… it's scaring me. Umm… anyway I'll shut up now, and I hope you enjoyed this chapter. I'll probably be in writer's block for a while, because I can't decide where I want to take the story next. 


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